quality, hetra

...I thought that just once, you know, just at that one time, when everything was going pretty smooth, that something was gonna work, something was gonna align itself with all that magic out there, you know, all that synthesis out there, that something was gonna definitely gonna follow, I mean, it was gonna happen, it was gonna happen because, after all, I would have spent enough hours, yeah, enough time, putting all those little pieces together, just sticking them together, just making sure, ever so sure, you know, that they were all in the right spots, in the right places, that each one, each one of those things was where it had to be, where it could only be, and that when it was all built up, you know, after all those hours, it was going to stand and look back down, back down at me and everybody around me and it would be there shining about, right there, you know, at all of us, and at me, and it would be that construction of work, you know, a big construction of work, like nothing in it that was asleep or that was trying to fall asleep, like nothing in it that was considering itself foolish, or considering itself out of place, or considering itself, really, at all, it would just be beaming, like all those pieces, each one of those pieces really was in the spot that it was supposed to be, that only spot it could ever be, and then, maybe, I thought, you know at least that once, that it wouldn't really be beaming because it was proud of anything, it wouldn't really be beaming because it had accomplished anything or because it was receiving all this attention, no, it wouldn't really be acting at all, I mean, it, up there, all completed and built in the only way it could ever be built, as the only thing it could ever be, you know, with all those pieces sticking together, just like they had to be sticking together and it standing up there, in its place, it, would be that thing that was completed only in that it was all that it had ever intended to be, and all its parts, you know, each one of its parts, was only there because it was part of that intention, part of the model in presentation, with no utility, with no action, no, it wasn't about to leap out and squash out, you know, some major social problem, or fix something with the taxes, it was a real exhibit, you know, of what it was to be all that was intended, without carrying the rest, without carrying around with it, the rest of the things that weren't intended, the rest of the things that really had nothing to do with intention, place, you know, the stuff that wasn't really important to it, that didn't represent it, that didn't complete that form of intention, were just left aside, you know, never attached in place, didn't really every have a place. Yeah, I suppose, that is what I thought, when it was about to decide how to choose, how to choose anything at all, but I, you know, I just chose the wrong thing, you know, even after all that talk and all that work, you know, even after I had constructed this walking piece of newspaper or whatever, I just thought maybe it wasn't really worth it, maybe it didn't really have all those pieces that it needed and maybe it needed some other pieces, and so, after a while, I started adding a bunch of other pieces until, you know, I have a room full of crap....

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