6.30.2006

141

I.

a.

He is thin and he is pale and he looks like he is not eating and he looks like he is not in the sun too often.

b.

It is spring and the trees are green and there are little flowers on the ground and the flowers are red and blue and some of them are orange.

c.

He coughs and sits inside and it is dark inside.

d.

He is going to die because he is sick and his medicine does not make him well, Tracy says. It is early and there is light in the room from the one window. The sun in the desert is yellow and soon the room is yellow and soon the room is warm. It will be too warm in here for him, Margaret says.

e.

He likes to sit in the dark room, Tracy says.

f.

Margaret makes quiet noises with her mouth when she is nervous.

II.

a.

He is screaming in the morning and the nurse is sticking needles into his arms and his arms are bleeding and there is blood on the floor and there is blood on the bed and the nurse has a white shirt on and the nurse has white pants on.

b.

He fell on the floor, Tracy says.

c.

Margaret has sex with him in a dark room that is in the basement of a house that is on Cleary St. Margaret wears a blue and white mask and in the early morning her body is tan and smooth.

d.

He is awake and he is screaming.

e.

The sheets are red and he has been bleeding again and his body is hairless and he is white and parts of him are blue.

f.

The nurse has white gloves and sometimes she is crying.

[s]

6.26.2006

The bridge from Freemont to Columbus

I.

The wind comes from the north and the wind comes down the river and the wind is cold. The men and women on the ferry hug one another and they make faces that make them look happy but the men and women are really cold.

II.

a.

The Orange Jackets won 15-3 last night, Dave says to Martin. Dave sits next to Martin on the ferry. Dave reads about bridges. I am going to build a bridge from Freemont to Columbus, Dave says. I don’t even have a car, Martin says. You won’t need a car, Dave says. You can walk across the bridge.

b.

It is hot in July and Martin marries Stacey in the church that is on the cliff and looks at Freemont. Jefferson takes photographs and charges $1.25 for every photograph. I took fifty-five photographs, Jefferson says. I bought this tuxedo for $29.65, Martin says.

c.

Martin works at Columbus Bank. Martin is a bank teller. Columbus Bank is in Columbus. Freemont and Columbus are on a river but they are not on the same side of the river and Freemont is where people live who don’t live in Columbus. Most of the jobs are in Columbus, Stacey says and she is washing dishes.

d.

Dave is going to build a bridge to Columbus, Martin says. Martin married Stacey because she makes little kitten noises when she empties the dishwasher.

e.

Dave is in the Columbus Bank and he talks to Mr. Jacobson. Mr. Jacobson works on the top floor and he has an office that has two big windows and two big leather couches. I have a secretary that I like to have sex with, Mr. Jacobson says. I eat dinner at Gary’s Sushi because it is only $4.95 for a very big meal, Dave says.

f.

At 7:45 Martin walks to the ferry building and walks onto the ferry. On the ferry, Martin reads the Freemont Daily paper. The Freemont Daily paper writes about Columbus. The paper says: Man to build Bridge to Columbus.

g.

Two women row a boat across the Columbus River and they row in record time and the time is under ten minutes. Wow, Martin thinks. What can I do in less than ten minutes, Martin wonders but he can’t think of anything and he eventually decides that ten minutes is not that much time.

Dave builds a bridge from Freemont to Columbus. The bridge has tall towers and the bridge is silver and the bridge looks like it connects two cities that have pretty things inside them.

h.

The Columbus Bank was just bought by the Freemont Bank, Jack says. You can buy banks, Lou asks. You can't have a Freemont Bank in Columbus, Stan says. They are going to carry the bank across the bridge, Jack says.

i.

Martin sits behind the glass at the Freemont Bank. Martin asks Mrs. Morrison if she wants tens and fives or just fives. Just fives, Mrs. Morrison says.

III.

In the winter the bridge freezes and turns to ice and the cars on the bridge get stuck.

[s]

6.22.2006

Joy of Life is 30-1

1.

Martin lives in the hospital because he is sick and he can’t touch people or he will die. At nighttime, Martin vomits in his sleep and he smells like urine. Martin lives in a plastic room and his mother waves at him from a window and then she goes home and cries and has sex with Max.

Oh Beatrice, Max says. I left the clothes in the dryer, Beatrice says and she walks through the house naked and she looks like she is thin and pale like she is a ghost.

2.

Beatrice and Morgan are married and they have sex on Thursday mornings and Tuesday afternoons. Morgan works at the golf club and Max is twelve years old. Morgan and Beatrice eat at Julio’s on Sundays.

I like Julio’s, Beatrice thinks. In high school, Beatrice won a contest that said she was the brightest future for San Carlo. She was in a parade and the parents of the other children gave her a big party and she bought a really nice dress and she drank lots of drinks and Morgan asked her if she wanted to make sex in the Laundromat on Clark and 22nd and she said yes.

3.

Max asks Beatrice if she loves him. Do you love me, Beatrice? Of course Max, Beatrice says. Beatrice has a tattoo on her back that is a picture of a bicycle. Morgan rides his bicycle home and he sees Max and Beatrice having oral sex in the swimming pool and it is July.

4.

There are fifteen dogs in race thirteen. Your wife has sex with boys, Danny says. Joy of Life is 30-1. He won’t win and they will probably shoot him in the head after the race. They can’t shoot Joy of Life, Morgan says and Morgan puts $50 on Joy of Life and Joy of Life doesn’t place and a man who is fat walks onto the track and shoots Joy of Life in the face and there are some people at the track who clap their hands and Morgan tears up his ticket.

I don’t even like oral sex, Danny says. I don’t either, Morgan says.

5.

Lily is ten and she plays the violin and sometimes she crosses the street without looking and sometimes she hides in an old rubber stamp warehouse on Murray Hill. There are sharp nails and loose boards in the cabin but Lily says that she can hear Jesus tell Mary that he wants to have sex with her when it is quiet and she is in the warehouse.

6.

Danny and Morgan ask the woman at the track to do favors for them in the parking lot and some of the women are shy and some of the women smile and have sweaty palms and Danny and Morgan take them into the trees on the other side of the park.

Do you like Bon Jovi, Danny asks Shelly. I love Bon Jovi, Shelly says. She has red hair and she makes little twirls with her hips and she makes babies really fast. You got pregnant really fast, Danny says. I know, Shelly says. Do you like the name Lily, Shelly asks.

7.

Fuck.

8.

Jesus never said that to Mary, Father Thompson says to Lily. Father Thompson has a moustache but he isn’t supposed to wear a moustache because then he looks like he is a baseball player.

9.

Life in the fast lane, Beatrice says and smokes a cigarette.


[s]

6.21.2006

I killed a little girl who was having trouble breathing

I.

Sally weighs one pound when she is born and she does not breathe that well and she turns into red and purple colors and she does not look that white and her mother buries her in the ground and the ground is sand and gravel and there are weeds in the ground. She will die, Aunt Susan says but Aunt Susan does not shave under her arms and Aunt Susan says bad words and she does not always wear a bra.

II.

a.

You look like a whore, Douglas Garrison says.

b.

I buried her in the ground and I put flowers on the ground and I said a prayer and then I went to church and I talked to the minister and I said three or four our fathers and then I went to the market and I had sex with some of the men who do not speak English and who work in the back of the store next to where the freezer is and I did not have one orgasm and I didn’t really like it all that much.

c.

You had sex in the freezer, Douglas Garrison says.

d.

Court is never as crowded and as dramatic as it seems to be when it is on the television. Once, I watched an entire episode of Legal Mind on the television and the lawyer told the jury that this girl wasn’t guilty and the jury still said that she was guilty and the show was really good. But then this other time the show Legal Mind had a man from a school in the northeast who said that the legal system needed to change and I said that the girl was still guilty.

e.

One of the men was washing lettuce and he asked me if I wanted to see where the lettuce was in the truck and I said I wanted to see where the lettuce was in the truck and I went back with him and he and the other guys said they wanted to play a game and I said ok but I didn’t have any orgasms and I didn’t really like it that much but it was ok and the guys were kind of nice and then I came home.

f.

I thought the guy who was my lawyer should have picked the woman with the flowered skirt and the short sleeve top because she looked like my sister and I was sure that she would be nice and know that I only buried the girl in the backyard because she was purple and red and I thought that she was going to die really soon and I wanted to be there when she died and I wanted to say some things to her right when she died so that she would go to heaven.

g.

You are going to hell, the judge says. And it is going to be hot and there are going to be animals that have sharp spears and you are going to burn for a very long time.

h.

Oh no.

III.

Aunt Susan has sex with Douglas Garrison in the back of the church and they do not go to hell because they did not bury a little girl who was purple and red and did not look that white.


[s]

6.20.2006

Christmas in Town

1.

The tree is green and the tree is a triangle and the children hold hands and one of them is sick.

2.

Amen and Hallelujah and Amen, the minister says. Holy-holy, the churchwoman says. That boy will die, Dan Dougherty says. Dan Dougherty likes to sit in the front row of the church. I belong in the front row on Christmas Eve, Dan Dougherty says.

3.

The tree has little white lights and the little white lights flicker. Do they still sell sno-cones at Laurel’s, Diana asks. Who does that boy belong to, Dan Dougherty asks.

4.

The tree has oddly made ornaments and the oddly made ornaments are from shops in the streets and alleys of towns like Greenwich and Carmel and Aspen and La Jolla. The boy has turns in his stomach and his mangled arms make him look like a snake.

5.

The boy is on the floor and the boy is covered in blood and urine and he looks really quite sick and ill.

6.

The boy has turned into a snake, the minister says. We should get the women out of the church, Dan Dougherty says. I will get the holy water, the minister says. The hell with holy water, Dan Dougherty says.

7.

On December 22, 1981, Jill asks Santa Claus for a blue sweater with a green and red heart in the middle. That is a silly request, Michael says. Michael is Jill’s brother and he is twelve and he kisses Sally behind the auditorium during the school dance. You taste like peppermint, Sally says. No I don’t, Michael says.

8.

Jill opens her presents. Santa gives her a blue sweater with a green and red heart in the middle. I am so happy, Jill says to her parents.

9.

Dan Dougherty drinks coffee at Laurel’s. You don’t sell sno-cones anymore, Diana asks. No, the clerk says. Maybe we should have taken him to the hospital, the minister says. He was sick, Dan Dougherty says.

10.

On Christmas day the town looks at the green tree with the white lights. Michael was the sick boy, Diana says. That is my brother, Jill says. Michael is on the ground and he is not moving. We had to shoot him in the face because he was quite sick, the minister says.

11.

Now we can’t have an open casket memorial, Jill’s mother says.

[s]

6.19.2006

August

a.

It is five forty-five in the morning. The sun has not come out and it is cold and somebody in the hallway is shouting. The nurse is white and she is tall and she eats chocolate cake in the dining hall and she is fat.

c.

The doctor has a house on a golf course and he has a car that goes really fast. Is that good, Mary asks. Mary is the ambulance driver and she puts her body into little triangles in the morning. It is good, the doctor says. Where is the golf course, Mary asks. Someone in the hallway is shouting.

d.

The doctor is on a diet. The doctor has sex with the nurse at six fifteen. She moves her body back and forth and she makes little noises like she is a rodent. The doctor counts to seven. I am in better shape, the doctor says. The nurse looks pasty and her body is sweating and it sticks to the operating table. You look like you don’t see the sun all that much, the doctor says.

e.

Mary drives the ambulance very fast and sometimes she does not stop at the red lights even when her flashing lights are not on. They won’t like hitting an ambulance, Mary says. Who won’t, Harold asks. Harold and Mary started having sex when Mary was seventeen. Now, Mary is twenty seven. The other drivers, Mary says. Somebody is screaming in the hallway, Harold says. The doctor counts: eight, nine, ten. Where is the nurse, Mary says.

f.

There is somebody shouting in the hallway, Mrs. Galloway says. She is polite and patient but the screaming is really pretty terrible and she has become a little bit worried. Mrs. Galloway was born in a small communist village outside Moscow and she doesn’t think that some people should be left to scream in the hospital.

The hospital was built in 1901, the clerk says. I was born in 1924, Mrs. Galloway says. Then I would have a seat, the clerk says. The clock on the wall in the waiting room makes loud ticking noises and it sounds like it is a bomb.

g.

The nurse is tall and white and she used to play sports for her high school in Atlanta. She could make her body into squares and circles. The other girls couldn’t do that. Her father said she had an ugly nose. Her math teacher slept with her after homecoming. You are going to get fat, her father said.

h.

He doesn’t have insurance, the nurse says. Tell Mary to take him back to his neighborhood, the doctor says. He left a lot of blood on the floor, the nurse says. The clerk shakes her head. The doctor should be with you right away, Mrs. Galloway. The nurse and the doctor have sex on the operating table. It is seven forty-five. Your skin looks yellow, the doctor says.


[s]

6.09.2006

Our Anniversary

a.

Stan and Stacey are married. Stacey is on a liquid diet. My father and mother are coming to town tomorrow, Stan says. Stan is thirty-five and he has a spot on his head where he has no hair. My mother and father want to eat steak and hamburgers at Mario’s, Stan says. Mario’s is a restaurant. Mario’s is very expensive. A man in the newspaper called Mario’s the best restaurant in the city. It is the best restaurant in the city, Chuck says. Stacey is on a goddamn liquid diet, Stan says.

b.

Chuck turns thirty-four on Monday. I want to have my birthday at Jake’s on fifteenth and Jackson. Ok, Molly says. Molly has straight black hair and she plays golf at a club in the suburbs. The workers at the club call Molly, Ms. The workers at the club say, Nice shot Molly. The grass is really very green at golf clubs in the suburbs. Even if the golf club is in the desert and the desert is in the suburbs. The grass is still very green. Deserts without golf courses are brown and dry and don’t get a lot of water. More deserts should have golf courses.

c.

I read something about a starving boy or something in Africa, Molly says to Chuck. What, Chuck says. I think we should give them something like some money or maybe some golf clubs. They sound like they are poor I think. I have an old set of golf clubs in the basement, Chuck says. Do you think we can send them to Africa. I’ll overnight them from the office, Chuck says. They are really lucky to have us, Molly says.

d.

Chuck goes into his basement and puts his golf clubs into a brown bag. Africa, the postman says. It’s a place that is really poor, Chuck says.

c.

I can only drink fruit shakes and water, Stacey says. My father and mother are going to be sad, Stan says. Stacey looks at her fingers and her fingers are fat. Maybe I can eat a small steak, Stacey thinks. You know what is going to happen if she eats a steak, Chuck says. Yeah, Stan says, she will vomit in the bathroom and we will have to go to the hospital. But at least my parents won’t be upset and sad. Last time, my parents were sad.

d.

I have yellow skin, Stacey thinks. She walks into the bathroom and she cries on the toilet. The bathroom is white and yellow and the bathroom has two mirrors and one of the mirrors is an oval and one of the mirrors is a rectangle. I will just have a little steak, Stacey says to herself. Molly drinks four martinis and falls down the stairs at the golf club in the suburbs. Are you ok, Howard asks. Howard is a caddy and he is tall and Molly thinks that he is handsome and she asks him if he wants to have sex in her car. While you are driving, Howard asks. I can’t drive Howard, Molly says, I am drunk. Oh, Howard says.

e.

Stan’s mother and father come to town. Stacey eats a steak at Mario’s. You know this could have killed her, Dr. Holden says. It was from Omaha, Stan says.


[s]

6.06.2006

North Country Summer

I.

The sun is a big round ball. The sun is yellow and hot and sometimes the sun looks white. Hugh lives in a small town in Alaska. There are fishing boats in his town. From space, the town looks like it is a whale. You can’t see the town from space, Jackson says. Jackson builds rockets and works for the government. It would look like a whale anyway, Maria says. Hugh has sex with Maria in his glass house.

My house is square and it is made of glass, Hugh says. Hugh built his house on a river. The river runs through the town that looks like a whale if you could see it from space. The government is going to build a bridge next to your house, Jackson says. Maria makes small giraffe sounds with her throat when she is making sex. Giraffe’s don’t sound like that, Mark says. Mark works at a zoo and has a rash on his shoulder. You have a rash on your shoulder, Jackson says. Did you sleep with Maria, Hugh asks. Hugh has started to urinate in his pants. The doctor says that it is because he is nervous. I think they touched you when you were fourteen, Maria says.

Maria was in a pornographic movie when she was fourteen. She was living in a cabin in Western Virginia and her guardian thought that she looked like Madonna. Her guardian thought she looked like Marilyn Monroe. Her guardian thought she looked like Mia Farrow. Her guardian no longer speaks that well because both his lungs collapsed in the coal mine. Both your lungs collapsed in the coal mine, the doctor had said. The nurse that bathed him had bathed him at night and she had been naked and she had clean neat hair on her body that made her shadowed and her unshadowed body look like clay sculptures. You look like a sculpture, Maria’s guardian had said to the nurse. The nurse had smiled and turned and coddled him and they had loved.

The other hospital nurse wore a white shirt and she looked like she has been working out in the closet. She is only fourteen, the doctor said. She is my sister.

Maria’s guardian still writes Maria letters. I read the letters, Mark says. I have learned to paint and soon I will be able to spend more time outside. That is what the last letter said. I read it, Hugh says. Hugh has a party with wine and guests and waiters and small plates of food. How does he know where you live, Hugh asks Maria. I told him, Maria says. She wears pants that are short and make her thighs look like they are too big and Hugh doesn’t think that giraffe’s are probably really that good in bed anyway.

I don’t really like to walk in the water when it is springtime because the water is too cold.

II.

On the north side of the town there is a boy who is bleeding in the street because he was hit by a truck and the truck driver didn’t stop because the sun was hot and round and bright and the truck driver thought the boy was dead. I thought the boy was dead, the truck driver says and he spits chewing tobacco into the street and the police officer looks at him.

When the sun comes out in the spring and doesn’t go back under until the end of summer sometimes it is difficult to tell which side of the road is for driving and which side of the road is for walking. But that only happens in Alaska.

[s]

6.03.2006

Sturbridge

a.

The tourists eat hot dogs and stand on the rocks.

b.

Martina has a smooth back and she is naked. Her skin is tanned and hugged against her bones. She is in wet water and she fishes. She trembles and she looks as though she does not want to see herself in more day or in more night.

c.

Look.

d.

Martina, Harrison says. Harrison is a cook. Harrison collects small rocks and puts the small rocks into rainbow colored sacks. The sacks sit on his mantle. Martina is quiet. Martina rocks back and forth on the bottoms of her feet. The fish are not hungry.

e.

Harrison has a cabin on a hill. There is a painting of his uncle in his cabin. The painting is above his mantle. Harrison’s uncle is a Native. The Natives burn their skin and howl and dance with their hands. The tourists take pictures and whisper. The tourists have small backpacks.

There are marks on Harrison’s hands. Some of the marks are straight. Some of the marks are crooked.

f.

On Tuesday, Martina suicides. She finds a rock in the wet water. The rock is sharp and the man who owns the general store says that it is not a rock. The man says that it is a weapon that the Natives created. The man has a moustache and he puts wax on his moustache.

g.

She killed herself with a weapon, Harrison says. Martina lies in the wet water and the wet water moves over her body and changes into red. Martina has her eyes open and she has marks on her arms that are straight and long and smooth and it looks like she cut herself many times with the smooth rock.

Is the rock a weapon, the priest asks.

h.

They will have to leave her here, Jefferson says. Jefferson is a tourist. He has flags in his house from seventeen countries. I have been to nineteen countries, Jefferson says. Jefferson wears glasses and his glasses get fogged when he is excited.

i.

Later, when it is night time, Harrison brings a wool blanket and wraps it around Martina. The water makes the blanket wet. At least she won’t look like the other people in the photographs, Harrison says. She is like the other people, the priest says. The tourists take photographs and stand on the bank.

This is what life is like here. Maybe another Native will suicide again before we return to Memphis, Jefferson says. Jefferson has his hand around his wife. His children eat ice cream and have big eyes.

[s]