Our Anniversary


Stan and Stacey are married. Stacey is on a liquid diet. My father and mother are coming to town tomorrow, Stan says. Stan is thirty-five and he has a spot on his head where he has no hair. My mother and father want to eat steak and hamburgers at Mario’s, Stan says. Mario’s is a restaurant. Mario’s is very expensive. A man in the newspaper called Mario’s the best restaurant in the city. It is the best restaurant in the city, Chuck says. Stacey is on a goddamn liquid diet, Stan says.


Chuck turns thirty-four on Monday. I want to have my birthday at Jake’s on fifteenth and Jackson. Ok, Molly says. Molly has straight black hair and she plays golf at a club in the suburbs. The workers at the club call Molly, Ms. The workers at the club say, Nice shot Molly. The grass is really very green at golf clubs in the suburbs. Even if the golf club is in the desert and the desert is in the suburbs. The grass is still very green. Deserts without golf courses are brown and dry and don’t get a lot of water. More deserts should have golf courses.


I read something about a starving boy or something in Africa, Molly says to Chuck. What, Chuck says. I think we should give them something like some money or maybe some golf clubs. They sound like they are poor I think. I have an old set of golf clubs in the basement, Chuck says. Do you think we can send them to Africa. I’ll overnight them from the office, Chuck says. They are really lucky to have us, Molly says.


Chuck goes into his basement and puts his golf clubs into a brown bag. Africa, the postman says. It’s a place that is really poor, Chuck says.


I can only drink fruit shakes and water, Stacey says. My father and mother are going to be sad, Stan says. Stacey looks at her fingers and her fingers are fat. Maybe I can eat a small steak, Stacey thinks. You know what is going to happen if she eats a steak, Chuck says. Yeah, Stan says, she will vomit in the bathroom and we will have to go to the hospital. But at least my parents won’t be upset and sad. Last time, my parents were sad.


I have yellow skin, Stacey thinks. She walks into the bathroom and she cries on the toilet. The bathroom is white and yellow and the bathroom has two mirrors and one of the mirrors is an oval and one of the mirrors is a rectangle. I will just have a little steak, Stacey says to herself. Molly drinks four martinis and falls down the stairs at the golf club in the suburbs. Are you ok, Howard asks. Howard is a caddy and he is tall and Molly thinks that he is handsome and she asks him if he wants to have sex in her car. While you are driving, Howard asks. I can’t drive Howard, Molly says, I am drunk. Oh, Howard says.


Stan’s mother and father come to town. Stacey eats a steak at Mario’s. You know this could have killed her, Dr. Holden says. It was from Omaha, Stan says.


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