I killed a little girl who was having trouble breathing

I.

Sally weighs one pound when she is born and she does not breathe that well and she turns into red and purple colors and she does not look that white and her mother buries her in the ground and the ground is sand and gravel and there are weeds in the ground. She will die, Aunt Susan says but Aunt Susan does not shave under her arms and Aunt Susan says bad words and she does not always wear a bra.

II.

a.

You look like a whore, Douglas Garrison says.

b.

I buried her in the ground and I put flowers on the ground and I said a prayer and then I went to church and I talked to the minister and I said three or four our fathers and then I went to the market and I had sex with some of the men who do not speak English and who work in the back of the store next to where the freezer is and I did not have one orgasm and I didn’t really like it all that much.

c.

You had sex in the freezer, Douglas Garrison says.

d.

Court is never as crowded and as dramatic as it seems to be when it is on the television. Once, I watched an entire episode of Legal Mind on the television and the lawyer told the jury that this girl wasn’t guilty and the jury still said that she was guilty and the show was really good. But then this other time the show Legal Mind had a man from a school in the northeast who said that the legal system needed to change and I said that the girl was still guilty.

e.

One of the men was washing lettuce and he asked me if I wanted to see where the lettuce was in the truck and I said I wanted to see where the lettuce was in the truck and I went back with him and he and the other guys said they wanted to play a game and I said ok but I didn’t have any orgasms and I didn’t really like it that much but it was ok and the guys were kind of nice and then I came home.

f.

I thought the guy who was my lawyer should have picked the woman with the flowered skirt and the short sleeve top because she looked like my sister and I was sure that she would be nice and know that I only buried the girl in the backyard because she was purple and red and I thought that she was going to die really soon and I wanted to be there when she died and I wanted to say some things to her right when she died so that she would go to heaven.

g.

You are going to hell, the judge says. And it is going to be hot and there are going to be animals that have sharp spears and you are going to burn for a very long time.

h.

Oh no.

III.

Aunt Susan has sex with Douglas Garrison in the back of the church and they do not go to hell because they did not bury a little girl who was purple and red and did not look that white.


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