The Second Fetish

"I can't explain it, but it's always been this way. Since I was a kid."

"When do you remember it starting?"

"I don't know... maybe I was ten, or eleven? I had never even cum before. Never masturbated, never saw a woman naked. Except my mom, one time, I saw her topless. But that was just weird, I remember thinking: what are those flappy things? Not in those words."

"So tell me more about what you remember, how you felt when you first knew and how you came to know at all."

"I was sitting at the kitchen table. There was a sound in the room, a soft sound, maybe a siren in the distant coming through. And I started getting afraid, like what if there was a murderer out there in the dark through the windows and the police were looking for him, but what if he found us? What if as I looked out the window, suddenly I'd see a face -- something crazy, the face of a crazy murderer -- staring big-eyed back at me? I mean, it was a terrifying thought. And yet at the same time, I felt a strange sensation... a stirring in my pants. Things were getting tighter down there. I thought, What if there was a face... what if he broke into the house and held my mom with a knife to her throat, like a hostage? Well I thought I'd be able to take him. I'd pretend to be all upset, but then when he dismissed me as a crying mess I'd run into him full speed to take him down. The knife would go flying, and my mom would slide it across the floor to me and then -- wham! I'd take it straight into his heart."

"And what -- what about this -- do you remember what the strange sensation, as you called it, what it felt like?"

"It felt good. It was a erection. I had never had one before."

"What about that fantasy made you erect, do you think?"

"Being a hero. Being in control. I think that's what it is."

"Being in control? Do you feel in control now, Henry?"

"Now? I don't feel anything now. Not really. I feel nervous telling you this, embarrassed I think."

"Embarrassed about what?"

"Embarrassed that this turns me on. It feels so... I don't know, it makes me feel guilty. Like, how obvious this must be for you."

"Obvious?"

"Yeah, I mean, here I am tell you that my first erection came when I fantasied that I save my mom from an imaginary killer holding her at knifepoint. I didn't have to study psychology to know that there's something weird and uncomfortably obvious going on here."

"Maybe you feel like by telling me this, you're not in control. You're exposed."

"Yes. I suppose that's why I do it. To expose myself. Then why don't I go run around the city in a trench-coat showing off my dick? If I like exposing myself?"

"Henry. How are you feeling now?"

"Angry. Angry that you are-- hey. Do you smell that?"

Henry looks around and see the walls of the office are coming closer.

"Holy shit, doc, what's happening?" Suddenly no one is there. "Doc?" And from the walls: penises pushing through. They are on fire. And the walls are closing in.