The extremists in the north want to murder our babies

There is a howl and the women with babies are in a well and the babies are screaming and the women are asking for help. This, perhaps, is the result of one idea that arose at the end of the last century. There were others, of course, but the other ideas were eventually and eagerly disregarded.

After a considerable amount of debate, it was decided that the one idea would be granted permission to secede all other designs presented by foundations, institutions, and faith based organizations. You see, the men had horses then, and the horses were fast. Quite simply, the men rode their horses throughout the countryside and the countryside was rolling hills and stone farmhouses and small brooks and nested fields.

There was, in fact, no faster way to spread the idea (nor implement the idea) since there weren’t any things in the sky any longer and there weren't any things flying around the earth any longer. And I must admit there was quite some promise at the beginning. The execution was remarkably swift. At the end of the first week, the picnic areas were filled with eaters and the eaters were hungry. The volunteers were well dressed and easily disposed to find comfort in their neighbor and in the safety and honor in the idea. But, after a while, a few disputes broke out and it did not seem that the idea was as good as it was initially perceived.

So we went back to the table on the south side of Bell Island and we began to draw up another idea. The first idea had been to put all the women with babies in the bottom of a well. The women with babies were vulnerable and since the dawning of the new war manuals—they were enemy targets. We were concerned, rightly so, that a successful massacre of these helpless and hopeless women and children would leave us embarrassingly crippled and descendent-less.

That was out-right foolish on our part.

Really, it is quite impossible to become descendent-less. We all agreed on that after some time and the women with the babies were brought out of the wells and we shook hands with the women and the babies were covered in dust and ash and some of the babies died when they came back up to the surface because it was a difficult adjustment. There are some unfortunate casualties in the implications of ideas and, as thoroughly and professionally as the idea was put in place and administered there were still some people that were not able to follow directions or were unfortunate victims of circumstance.

At the time of the drawing of the second idea, there were seventeen members in our cabinet and each member of the cabinet was responsible for writing one thoroughly plausible and appropriate idea. The best idea from the group of seventeen was to be administered. In retrospect, our second chosen idea was probably not the best either. It is remarkably amazing that a group of well-educated and wealthy men could choose the wrong idea. However, there is great merit in the grace and dignity with which we led our nation against the extremists and hardliners of the north.


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